A Broken Phone and Moving to a New Home

a couple days ago, I cracked my phone.

Nine days before I make the three hour drive to my new home for the foreseeable future, and begin the process of settling into college.

To say I was irritated was the nicest way I could put it. Freaked out was an understatement. I immediately started researching the cost to fix it, and even went so far as to call an insurance company to inquire about getting a replacement. In all honesty, it was another odd and end I had to add to a piling list of Things Emma Had to Think About, and essentially collapsed the Pit in my Stomach that had been creeping as soon as August first hit.

The months leading up to then were filled with pure excitement. If you know me, you know how long I’ve waited for this time to come. This was supposed to be the beginning. I was completely enthralled by the idea of absolutely thriving on campus. Rushing a sorority, and applying for writing positions was all I could think about. Mid-August couldn’t come soon enough. Now, the past couple days had been filled with fear, and a sense of not being quite ready to leave home. And on top of that, I now had a shattered phone back that seemed to be the cherry on top of all my worries. What was the deal?

After multiple hours of stewing over the spiderweb of imperfections on the backside of my iPhone 8 Plus, it suddenly occurred to me that this piece of technology was actually a far-off metaphorical representation of my mental state. It was a physical representation of how I attempted to handle the feeling of dread for the school year. When I first felt those feelings, I instantly tried to shut them out. The “who am I to—?” and “what ifs.” There was no way in heck that I had time to deal with those trickles of self-doubt. I was supposed to be completely prepared so I could automatically walk in and be the most successful college student ever. I figured there’s no possible way that I can feel any less than happy and perfect in this moment in time. 

I tried to deal with them in a similar way-by freaking out over the fact that they weren’t completely perfect, and all it did was make me curse the price of ever-multiplying electronics.

It’s been a couple of days, and the obsession has died down quite a bit. This little excerpt seems to be all over the place. I have taken the time to truly understand these feelings. Not shove them down, not glorify them, but to accept them as my own, and run with it. Just as I will now with my technological device, to which I tried to procure a metaphor from. How successful I was at doing so, I don’t know, but I know I had to get these jumbled thoughts somehow before I leave for school. I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter how I feel won’t define how I’m perceived or how I see myself. I will walk on campus, with myself as I am, cracked phone ready to document the start of my college experience.

Thank you for reading

-e.n.

Posted by

Hello! My name is Emma, and I am pleased to welcome you to my blog, established in June of 2016 (which was a journey in itself). This blog has been the product of creativity, love, and countless hours designing and redesigning. A little about me: I am a graduated senior, coming from my community college's Early College Program, which entailed me receiving my AA degree after I graduated high school! In my high school career, I had been Captain for four years on the girl's JV and varsity volleyball team, became Vice President of our chapter of Technology Student Association, Historian of both the National Honor Society and Science National Honor Society, and received Gold and Silver Keys for the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards for my photography. Outside of school, I was involved in my local youth groups for seven years (four mission trips down!), had the opportunity to travel to Washington, DC to attend the Washington Journalism and Media conference, and work at an independent living elderly home. In February 2019, I got accepted to the University of Florida (Go Gators!), and look forward to spending my next four years learning about business and journalism. I play guitar, write, and take/edit pictures in my free time, and absolutely love spending quality time with my friends and family. This is a place where I can talk about a variety of topics, from lifestyle, to faith, fashion, and personal subjects. What's in a name? That, my friends, is an easy answer. I have always been quite observant, and in recent years, especially within myself. Introspective means to be "inward-looking," and for me, that's just the simple truth. For this blog, it allows you a glimpse into everything and anything I come across, whether it be about life, fashion, or travel! This is the place to feel included. Caio! -Em

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s